What did you experience today with effective
listening?
Example: "Today, I experienced
effective listening when my friend shared their thoughts about a problem they
were facing. I focused on what they were saying, maintained eye contact, and
nodded to show I was listening. It made our conversation more meaningful, and my
friend felt understood and supported."
What did you learn about the benefits of effective
listening? How does it feel when someone really listens to you?
Example: "I learned that effective
listening helps build trust and strengthens relationships. It avoids
misunderstandings and makes people feel valued. When someone really listens to
me, I feel respected and important. It encourages me to share more openly and
honestly."
What can effective listening do for you? What can
it do for others when you listen to them in this way?
Example: "Effective listening can
help me understand others better and improve my communication skills. It allows
me to respond thoughtfully and build stronger connections. For others, when I
listen to them effectively, they feel heard and respected. It can boost their
confidence and make them feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and
feelings."
A: Attend to the speaker
What does
"Attend to the speaker" mean to you? Example: "Attending
to the speaker means giving my full attention to the person who is talking. I
focus on their words, maintain eye contact, and avoid distractions like my
phone or other conversations. It shows the speaker that I respect and value
what they are saying."
R: Recognize the speaker’s point of view
What does
"Recognize the speaker’s point of view" mean to you? Example:
"Recognizing the speaker’s point of view means trying to understand their
feelings, opinions, and perspective, even if I don’t agree with them. It’s
about putting myself in their shoes and seeing the situation from their angle.
This helps me respond with empathy and respect."
T: Take time to ask and comment
What does
"Take time to ask and comment" mean to you? Example: "Taking
time to ask and comment means responding thoughtfully after the speaker has
finished. I can ask questions to clarify anything I didn’t understand or share
my thoughts to show that I was listening. This makes the conversation more
meaningful and helps the speaker feel heard."
Tips for Writing Your Answers:
- Be personal: Use your own words and
experiences.
- Be specific: Mention real-life examples
where you practiced these steps.
- Reflect deeply: Think about how each step
improves communication and relationships.
What is the difference between clear and cloudy
statements of appreciation?
Example: "Clear statements of
appreciation are specific and genuine. For example, saying, 'I really
appreciate how you helped me with my project yesterday' is clear because it
mentions exactly what you are thankful for. Cloudy statements are vague and
general, like saying, 'You're nice.' They don’t show what specifically you appreciate
about the person."
What did you learn about using clear statements of
appreciation to show respect? Why do you think it is important to show respect
for others?
Example: "I learned that using clear
statements of appreciation shows respect because it acknowledges the specific
efforts and qualities of a person. It makes them feel valued and understood.
Showing respect is important because it builds trust, strengthens
relationships, and creates a positive environment where everyone feels
appreciated and motivated."
How will you use clear statements of appreciation
to show respect for yourself?
Example: "I will use clear
statements of appreciation for myself by recognizing my own efforts and
achievements specifically. For example, instead of just thinking, 'I did okay,'
I will say, 'I worked hard on this assignment and did a great job organizing my
thoughts.' This helps me build self-respect and confidence."
What is the difference between clear and cloudy statements
of appreciation?
Example: "Clear statements of
appreciation are specific and genuine. For example, saying, 'I really
appreciate how you helped me with my project yesterday' is clear because it
mentions exactly what you are thankful for. Cloudy statements are vague and
general, like saying, 'You're nice.' They don’t show what specifically you
appreciate about the person."
What did you learn about using clear statements of
appreciation to show respect? Why do you think it is important to show respect
for others?
Example: "I learned that using clear
statements of appreciation shows respect because it acknowledges the specific
efforts and qualities of a person. It makes them feel valued and understood.
Showing respect is important because it builds trust, strengthens
relationships, and creates a positive environment where everyone feels
appreciated and motivated."
How will you use clear statements of appreciation
to show respect for yourself?
Example: "I will use clear
statements of appreciation for myself by recognizing my own efforts and
achievements specifically. For example, instead of just thinking, 'I did okay,'
I will say, 'I worked hard on this assignment and did a great job organizing my
thoughts.' This helps me build self-respect and confidence."
My Qualities
Imagine a
teacher, friend, or family member appreciating your qualities. Here are three
examples of clear statements of appreciation:
- "I really admire your
kindness. You always make sure everyone feels included and valued."
- "Your honesty is
inspiring. It’s great how you always speak the truth with care and
respect."
- "You have such a
positive attitude. Even in tough situations, you stay optimistic and
encourage others."
My Abilities
Imagine
someone appreciating your abilities. Here are three examples:
- "You are incredibly
creative. The way you come up_with unique solutions to problems is
amazing."
- "Your leadership skills
are outstanding. You always guide the team with confidence and fairness."
- "I appreciate your hard
work and dedication. You never give up until you achieve your goals."
My Interests
Imagine
someone appreciating your interests. Here are three examples:
- "I love how passionate
you are about art. Your drawings and paintings always tell such beautiful
stories."
- "Your enthusiasm for
sports is contagious. You inspire others to stay active and enjoy the
game."
- "It’s wonderful how you
explore new books and share interesting ideas. Your curiosity is
inspiring."
What are the parts of the What, When, Why, and How
Message?
Example:
- What: Describes the specific
behavior or situation.
- When: Specifies the time or
context in which the behavior or situation occurred.
- Why: Explains the reason or
impact of the behavior or situation.
- How: Suggests how things could
be improved or maintained.
Example
Statement: "What
I noticed was that you helped me with my homework. When it happened was
yesterday after school. Why it was important is because it helped me understand
the topic better. How you could continue is by explaining things in such a simple
way whenever I need help."
Why do you think What, When, Why, and How Messages
are helpful to communicate a full range of emotions? Why do you think What,
When, Why, and How Messages work to help make a difficult situation better?
Example: What, When, Why, and How
Messages are helpful because they provide a structured way to express emotions
and thoughts clearly. They help in communicating not just what happened, but
also the context, the impact, and possible solutions.
In
difficult situations, these messages work because they focus on specific
behaviors and events rather than personal attacks. This makes it easier to
address issues constructively, fostering understanding and collaboration rather
than conflict.
How do you think using What, When, Why, and How
Messages help you improve your self-confidence? How do you think using these
messages might help strengthen your friendships?
Example: Using What, When, Why, and How
Messages can improve my self-confidence by helping me express myself clearly
and assertively. When I can communicate my thoughts and feelings effectively, I
feel more in control and respected.
These
messages can strengthen friendships by promoting open and honest communication.
They help friends understand each other better, resolve conflicts peacefully,
and build trust and respect in the relationship.
What?
Explanation: The
"What" part describes the specific behavior, action, or situation you
want to address. It focuses on the facts and avoids vague language.
Example: "What I
want to talk about is when you interrupted me during our group discussion
yesterday."
How it helps express emotions
constructively: By clearly stating "what" happened, you
avoid confusion and ensure that the other person knows exactly what you are
referring to. This helps in addressing the issue directly and constructively.
When?
Explanation: The
"When" part specifies the time or context in which the behavior or
situation occurred. It helps to provide clarity and avoid generalizations.
Example: "When this
happened was during our team meeting at 3 PM."
How it helps express emotions
constructively: Including "when" helps the other person
recall the specific incident and understand the context. It prevents the
conversation from becoming too abstract or generalized.
Why?
Explanation: The
"Why" part explains the reason or impact of the behavior or
situation. It helps the other person understand how their actions affected you
or others.
Example: "Why it was
a problem is because it made me feel like my ideas weren't valued, and it
disrupted the flow of our discussion."
How it helps express emotions
constructively: Explaining "why" helps the other person see
the consequences of their actions. It encourages empathy and understanding,
making it easier to address the issue effectively.
How?
Explanation: The
"How" part suggests how things could be improved or maintained. It
focuses on solutions and positive changes.
Example: "How we can
handle this better in the future is by taking turns to speak and listening to
each other without interruption."
How it helps express emotions
constructively: Offering a "how" provides a constructive way
forward. It shifts the focus from blame to problem-solving, making the
conversation more productive and positive.
Summary for Explaining to Someone New:
You can explain it like this: "What,
When, Why, and How Messages are a way to communicate clearly and
constructively. 'What' describes the specific behavior or situation, 'When' gives
the context or timing, 'Why' explains the impact or reason, and 'How' suggests
a solution or improvement. Using these four parts helps us express our emotions
and concerns in a way that is clear, respectful, and solution-focused."
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